Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
