we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
