Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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