then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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