I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
