is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
