he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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