come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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