I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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