it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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