Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
