Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
