im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize