Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
