i barfeds in our rink
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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