He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
