some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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