In the future we'll all be gay
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
