i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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