we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
