Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
