I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
