yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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