He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
