I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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