totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
