Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This is the high leading the old right now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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