Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
