just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I could fuck to npr.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
