Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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