Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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