he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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