South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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