Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
