So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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