Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize