they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
