hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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