my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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