well I can't set my house on fire every night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
