all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
