I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
