Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
