yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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