So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
