you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
