My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
