Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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