I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
