I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
