i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
