She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
