Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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