remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
