Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
