If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
