I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
