When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
