respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
