I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
